Empowering Relationship Clarity

See Your Relationships Clearly.

Identify patterns, log the good and the bad, and regain your perspective with the world's first research-informed relationship documentation platform.

Track positive moments, daily interactions, and concerns. The full picture reveals the real pattern.

Research-Informed Methodology

Drawing on 69 published sources across clinical psychology, trauma research, family law, and neurodivergent vulnerability studies.

View Our Sources

Are you experiencing any of these?

Toxic behaviors are often subtle and hard to identify in the moment. But healthy patterns have names too. Our tools help you recognize both.

Gaslighting

Systematic attempts to make you question your own reality and sanity.

Erodes self-trust and reality testing. Over time, you become dependent on the abuser to tell you what's "real."

🧠 Autistic and ADHD individuals may be especially vulnerable due to lifelong experiences of being told their perceptions are "wrong."

Research: Stern, 2018; Freyd, 1997

Stonewalling

The refusal to communicate or cooperate as a control tactic.

Activates abandonment fear. The stonewalled person often escalates, which is then used as evidence of being "crazy."

Research: Gottman, 1994 — one of the "Four Horsemen"

Love Bombing

Excessive attention and affection used to manipulate into a trauma bond.

Creates a biochemical "high" that becomes the baseline. When withdrawn, the target chases the original feeling.

Research: Archer, 2017 — narcissistic abuse cycles

DARVO

Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender behavior patterns.

Makes it impossible to address problems. The person raising the concern ends up apologizing.

Research: Freyd, 1997 — Betrayal Trauma Theory

Coercive Control

A pattern of acts used to isolate, humiliate, and intimidate.

An ongoing regime that strips away personhood systematically. Now criminalized in several countries.

🧠 ND individuals with higher compliance patterns from lifelong invalidation may be especially vulnerable.

Research: Stark, 2007 — criminalized in UK, Ireland, Scotland

Parental Alienation

Turning a child against the other parent through psychological manipulation.

Weaponizes the parent-child bond. Children are at elevated risk for depression and relationship difficulties.

Research: Fidler & Bala, 2010

Healthy relationships have recognizable patterns too.

Repair Attempts

Taking initiative to heal after conflict — apologizing, softening, reaching out.

"I'm sorry I raised my voice. Can we try again?" Gottman found that the success of repair attempts is the single best predictor of relationship outcome.

Research: Gottman, 1999

Responding to Bids

Noticing and engaging when someone reaches for emotional connection.

Partner says "Look at that sunset" — you stop and look (turning toward) vs. "Mm-hmm" while scrolling (turning away). Couples who turn toward 86% of the time stay together.

Research: Gottman, 1999

Respecting Autonomy

Supporting someone's independent choices, friendships, and identity.

"I'm glad you have plans with your friends." Supporting a career change without guilt. Autonomy is the opposite of coercive control.

Research: Stark, 2007 (inverse); Johnson, 2008

Your Path to Clarity

01

Take the Diagnostic

Assess 80+ specific behaviors across 8 psychological domains.

02

Log & Import

Track daily interactions manually or import communication data from WhatsApp, SMS, email, and call logs. The full picture reveals the real pattern.

03

See Patterns Emerge

View your relationship health score (0-100) updated in real-time.

04

Take Informed Action

Export reports for your attorney, therapist, or personal reference. Or use the data to make your own decisions with clarity.

Relationship Health Score

A real-time visualization of your relationship's health, calculated using research-informed metrics from 69 published sources.

65/100
Health Score

Safety Features

Quick-exit button, instant hide, and secure storage to keep your records private.

Balanced Logging

Track positive, negative, and neutral events. See your real ratio measured against Gottman's 5:1 research threshold.

Communication Pattern Analysis

Import WhatsApp chats, text messages, call logs, and emails. See who contacts whom, how often, at what hours, and whether frequency is changing over time.

Available in Clarity Pro

Trauma Encyclopedia

Research-informed guides on 9 major trauma types and recovery paths.

Pattern Detection

Identification of Gottman's "Four Horsemen" in your logged interactions.

Court-Ready Export

Export chronological logs formatted for legal proceedings, therapist review, or personal reference.

Designed for Your Journey

Going through a high-conflict divorce

Document patterns for court. Import texts and call logs to reveal contact frequency and escalation. Export chronological evidence your attorney can use.

Questioning if a relationship is toxic

Not sure if it's "bad enough"? Start logging. The data will answer — and if it's healthier than you feared, the data shows that too.

Co-parenting with a difficult ex

Log co-parenting interactions. Import communication threads to visualize contact patterns and frequency. Build documented evidence for custody proceedings.

Neurodivergent and navigating relationships

Tools designed for your brain, not despite it. Recognize when someone is exploiting your neurotype. Build boundaries on your terms.

Built by Someone Who Gets It

Created by Solweig Habert, Founder & CEO of MindWiz LLC, Advanced Certified Autism Specialist (IBCCES), with dual master's degrees and 15+ years in technology. Research-informed. Neurodivergent-affirming. Built from lived experience.

healthyboundaries.living

Not Another Crisis App

📊

Unlike crisis apps, we document the full picture — positive, negative, and neutral — so you see the real pattern, not just the worst moments.

🏷️

Unlike journaling apps, we classify every behavior by name and research citation — giving you language for what you're experiencing.

🔒

Unlike therapy apps, you own your data completely. No one accesses your account — not us, not a therapist, not anyone. You decide who sees what.

Choose Your Level of Support

Free

$0
  • Basic Assessment (1 relationship)
  • 5 Logs/month
  • Crisis Resources
Get Started Free

Clarity

$9.99/mo

$79.99/yr (save 33%)

  • Full Diagnostic (80+ behaviors)
  • Unlimited Logging
  • Health Score
  • Positive-to-Negative Ratio
  • Basic PDF Export
Start Clarity
Most Popular

Clarity Pro

$19.99/mo

$149.99/yr (save 37%)

  • Everything in Clarity
  • Pattern Detection
  • Communication Import & Analysis
  • Contact Frequency Visualization
  • Court-Ready Export
  • Encrypted Backup
  • Vulnerability Profile
  • Up to 5 Relationships
Start Clarity Pro
Coming Soon

Clarity + Recovery

$29.99/mo

$199.99/yr (save 44%)

  • Everything in Pro
  • Recovery Courses
  • ND Relationship Toolkit
  • Boundary Workshops
  • Financial Independence Planning

All charges appear as "HB Digital"on your bank statement — never "Healthy Boundaries" or anything related to relationships, abuse, or health. Your subscription is invisible to anyone monitoring your finances.

Can't afford a subscription? Someone who cares about you can purchase a gift code — no credit card needed on your end. Your attorney or advocate may also have free access codes through our Professional Partner program.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is my data secure?

Yes. Your data is hosted on SOC 2 Type 2 certified infrastructure (Supabase) with row-level security — only you can access your records. Quick-exit button instantly navigates away. Charges appear as "HB Digital." No therapist, attorney, or staff member ever accesses your account. Your data belongs to you alone.

Will a charge show up on my bank statement that could reveal what this is?

No. All charges appear as "HB Digital" or "HBL Services" — never "Healthy Boundaries" or anything related to relationships, abuse, or mental health. We also suppress email notifications by default. During onboarding, we ask if your email is monitored so we can adjust communication accordingly.

Can these reports be used in court?

The reports are self-reported contemporaneous documentation — similar to a personal journal. Courts routinely accept such records as supporting evidence, especially when timestamped and made near the time of the event. Present alongside attorney guidance.

How does the diagnostic assessment work?

You assess 80+ specific behaviors across 8 psychological domains. Each behavior is defined, explained with real-world examples, and linked to peer-reviewed research. You check which behaviors are present — both toxic AND healthy — producing a 0-100 health score.

I'm not sure if my situation is "bad enough" to use this.

If you're asking that question, you deserve an answer. This platform doesn't require you to label your relationship as "abusive" to use it. Start logging. The data will tell its own story. And if your relationship is healthier than you feared, the data will show that too.

Why do you include positive and neutral events?

Because accuracy matters more than confirmation. A tool that only tracks bad things will make any relationship look terrible. By logging the full picture, you get the real ratio. Gottman's research shows stable relationships maintain a 5:1 positive-to-negative ratio during conflict.

Is this platform safe for neurodivergent users?

Yes. We designed with neurodivergence in mind from the start: quick-entry logging, sensory-friendly design, executive-function-friendly workflows, and psychoeducation that frames ND vulnerability as situational, not personal (Douglas & Sedgewick, 2024).

What if my partner monitors my phone or computer?

Our safety features include a quick-exit button (click or double-tap Escape) which instantly navigates to a neutral website and replaces browser history. We recommend using an incognito/private browser window. If you are being digitally monitored, consider using a friend's device or calling 1-800-799-7233.

Is this a replacement for therapy?

No. Healthy Boundaries is a documentation, education, and pattern-recognition tool. It complements therapy — many therapists find client logs invaluable for session planning. But it does not provide diagnosis, treatment, or clinical intervention.

Can I use this for a relationship with my parent, boss, or friend?

Absolutely. The platform supports 9 relationship types: romantic partner, co-parent, parent/child, sibling, extended family, friendship, workplace, professional/institutional, and caregiver/dependent.

What communications can I import?

You can import WhatsApp chat exports, SMS/text message backups, call logs, and email threads — any communication where you are a participant. The platform parses timestamps, direction (who sent what), and frequency to visualize contact patterns over time. You can also manually log phone calls, video calls, and social media interactions.

Is it legal to import my text messages and call logs?

Importing your own communications — messages you sent or received — is generally permissible because you are a party to the conversation. However, phone recording laws vary by state. In Florida and several other states, recording a phone call without all parties' consent may be illegal. We strongly recommend consulting with an attorney about recording laws in your jurisdiction before uploading phone recordings.

What does the communication pattern analysis show?

The analysis identifies factual patterns in your uploaded data: who initiates contact most often, how frequently contact occurs, whether frequency is increasing over time, what hours contact happens, and whether there are patterns of unanswered sequential messages. These are data observations — the platform does not make legal determinations about harassment or stalking.

Can communication pattern data support a restraining order?

Communication pattern data is self-reported documentation based on data you uploaded from your own devices. Like all platform exports, it may support legal proceedings when presented alongside attorney guidance. The patterns shown (frequency, timing, direction balance) provide organized data that many attorneys find useful. However, the platform does not make legal determinations.

Can someone else buy this for me if I can't afford it?

Yes. Our Gift Program lets anyone purchase an activation code for you. They never see your data or activity. You redeem the code with no credit card required. If you're working with an attorney, advocate, or therapist, ask if they're a Healthy Boundaries Professional Partner — they may have free access codes.

I'm an attorney, therapist, or advocate. How can I use this with clients?

Through our Professional Partner program. You receive referral codes that give clients free Clarity Pro access, co-branded export templates, and a directory listing. You never access client data. No HIPAA implications. Visit our For Professionals page to apply.